TreatmentsFor.com - Depression in Teenagers and Children - Statistics, Symptoms, Treatment Part 3

WHAT A PARENT/GUARDIAN CAN DO

The two most important things a parent can do for your child/teen is to first, KNOW YOUR TEEN/CHILD'S ROUTINE, AND NORMAL DAILY ACTIVITIES so that you can identify any changes; and, LISTEN:

1) listen when your children talk;
2) listen to their music;
3) spend more time with them and be involved in their activities;
4) take them to movies and concerts, and discuss them afterward;
5) know their friends, and listen to them, as well;
6) do not lecture or offer unsolicited advice, or ultimatums; and,
7) do not try to talk them out of their feelings; instead, ask them if they can describe their feelings. It goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway, learn the above symptoms and know your teen/child. Here are some more things that you, the parent or guardian can do.
8) If a child, go to their day care periodically, and lern their routine; ask the teachers to alert you if their routine changes.
9) If a teen, go to ALL of your teen's teacher conferences to learn the patterns of the normal school day, and ask to be alerted immediately to changes.
10) For both teens and children, know their friends; see if your home can become the "gathering place"; get to know the parents of your child's or teen's friends and agree to let each other know if you see any changes in behavior.
11) In all cases, keep a diary of any changes that you see, so that you will be able to discuss the situation with great clarity and specificity with professionals, should the need arise.
12) Respond with love, kindness, and support if you think that your child/teen is experiencing problems that can lead to depression.
13) Let your child or teen know that you are there, whenever she or he needs you, and do so often and in age-specific (as Dr. Phil would say) ways.
14) Keep trying, but gently, if your teen shuts you out (depressed teenagers do not want to feel patronized or crowded).
15) Do not criticize or pass judgment, once the child or teen begins to talk (the important thing is that he or she is talking and communicating feelings). REMEMBER, NEVER CRITICIZE FEELINGS; everyone has the right to their feelings, even if you think that they are "wrong". Let them be voiced; if inapproptiate, seek professional assistance.
16) Encourage activity and praise efforts.
17) Seek help from a doctor or mental health professional, if the teen's or child's depressed feeling doesn't pass with time (be prepared to list behaviors, note how long and how often they have been occurring, and how severe they seem - hence, the diary mentioned above).
18) Do not wait and hope that symptoms will go away on their own. Better to seek assistance and be told that your teen/child is fine than to let your teen/child become one of the 70% who never receive help.
19) When depression is severe – if teens or children are thinking about hurting themselves or about suicide – seek professional help as soon as possible.
20) Parents of depressed adolescents may themselves need support. Seek out groups of parents who have experience with teen depression

Footnote (1): What some of my friends and I did with alcohol when we had teenagers; we kept a "mark" (usually hidden so the teens couldn't see it on the bottle) that changed each time we used the bottle. In this way, we could know immediately if the teens were drinking, and could deal with the situation.

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Carolyn Magura

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WHAT A PARENT/GUARDIAN CAN DO

For more information about depression, it's signs, symptoms and treatment see: